2) The Brainwashing About What’s “good-looking” is losing its power
We are becoming aware that we have been fed ideas about what is good-looking and that this is getting in the way of finding true love.
I used to be a belly-dancer. Historically, belly dancers were voluptuous women of at least middle age. Their bodies carried the stories of their lives and these stories were shared in the form of sensual dance. But a few decades ago, bellydance went more mainstream and suddenly bellydance troupes had to be thin, young with long dark hair. Soon, the middle-aged women with full bodies didn’t look attractive any longer. The audience’s eyes had changed (not everyone.. but many).
Our eyes have been changed too. We watch movies where the leading men look like Brad Pitt or Denzel Washington and the women look like Angelina Jolie or Scarlett Johansson. The men are tall and muscular and the women are pencil thin with firm breasts. And every looks approximately 25 years old.
Then magazines and advertisers continue the trend in order to sell us gym memberships, face creams, protein drinks, and plastic surgery. Our brains are subtly brainwashed daily to believe exactly what “they” want us to believe is beautiful.
And so, this basically leaves the vast majority of the population out in the cold because they simply don’t look like these images.
But as more and more people strive to look like these photoshopped images, being falsely beautiful, fit or youthful starts to lose its appeal. You don’t have to go on too many dates from online apps with “beautiful, fit” people to find out that what they look like has absolutely nothing to do with connection, depth of person, or what kind of lover they are… In fact, many report that if the person is VERY good looking, it is more likely that there is less personality and less effort put into the relationship – because they just haven’t had to try hard before.
In fact, many of the greatest tantric lovers I’ve known did not fit our stereotyped image. They would have been considered too fat, too thin, small penis, quirky, too short, too old, etc. Yet they had such an amazing focus on the connection, they were naturally tantric, and all the magic that we seek in lovemaking was effortlessly there.